More snow?

When life hands you a polar vortex…make a luau

After more below freezing days indoors than most of us care to count, it was time to shake things up a bit. So, a luau theme seemed in order. 

Here are some photos of "luau lunch" - sunshine sandwiches and even chocolate and coconut bars. 

Stay warm out there!

Snowman Popcorn Cup Cuteness

Here is a picture of the Snowman Popcorn Cups I made for our school party. Our Room Mom found these in Pinterest, I also posted it to my board here. I wanted to make them since they were so adorable, and knew our daughter would help. 

They were a huge hit and the steps were pretty simple. So, it's a great idea for Holiday Parties, or even movie watching festivities. I mean, everyone gets their own cup so there is no fighting over the bowl, right?

The advice I have for anyone attempting this is: 
Make the cups in advance because cutting and tying ribbons took a little time. 
Pop lots of corn (depending on the number you are serving, we had nearly 30 to serve). I made like four or five big pans of the stuff, and put it in a large bowl to season. 
Keep one of the cups for measuring—I was so glad I did this because there was no way I was going to try and calculate the correct formula for kernels popped per cup with the measurements listed on our popcorn jar. Plus, you need to have enough popcorn for the larger snowman/mom/person. 
Use the cup to measure, fill popcorn to the top, and dump it in a large baggie or container for transporting. 
Stack the decorated cups, take the baggies, the big snowman and bring extra supplies just in case another kid shows up. It happened in our class, but we were prepared.

Enjoy, it's supposed to be fun after all!

Please don’t text while driving!

I don’t often get on my virtual soapbox, but when I do, it’s for good cause. This time is no different.

Many of you know the dangers of texting while driving. You’ve probably heard statistics like these, seen it portrayed on TV shows like this, or encountered it first-hand. So, let me ask you all to sit down with your kids and have a talk.

Maybe you had the birds and bees discussion, or the don’t do drugs talk, that’s great! But, it’s high time as parents, citizens, and adults, we have a talk with each other and our kids about the dangers of using phones while driving.

First, be an example. If they see you doing it, they are more likely to think it’s okay and either do it themselves, or not speak up if a friend is texting while driving. So, put the phone down, please!

Second, tell them you love them and that no appointment, test, date, party—NOTHING—is so important they can’t wait to text, or take time to pull over before sending a message.

The reason for my anxiety, and this PSA? Yesterday, I was driving with my two-year-old through your average suburban neighborhood. While on a quiet street, I noticed a car in a driveway and it appeared to be rolling backwards. Yes, rolling, not driving backwards. 

A teenage boy with his eyes glued to his Smartphone jumped into the passenger side, and I figured the first roll was due to an anxious friend trying to get his buddy’s attention. Note: I’m still driving toward this particular driveway. 

The next instance, I notice the car rolling backwards again, and I’m wary. So, I slow to a crawl and then stop as the car rolls all the way down the driveway and into the street while the driver is looking down at his phone the entire time. He never once looked up to see if it’s safe to back into the street, and he never noticed the huge baby-hauler approaching his driveway. 

If I had not stopped, we would have crashed. He could have rammed the side my kid was on, which makes me want to say STOP and THINK!

He was shocked to see me after he rolled completely out of the driveway and ended up facing our van. The look on his face told me he already knew his error. He knew he was wrong—yelling or throwing up would have only given him an excuse to focus on someone else’s poor judgment instead of his own. (I need to remember this when dealing with my own kids.)

I know we didn’t crash, but it’s because I was hyper-aware. This is only one example of a bigger modern day driving problem. If you need to locate something on your phone, view directions, a map, text, or even call someone, please pull over. Train your children to do and expect the same. Please!

Playing through the pain

Whenever my peers and I suffered through difficult tests, tryouts, performances and other such trials the words “suck it up” and “shake it off” came out of the mouths of our coaches and teachers frequently. I heard them more times than I care to detail here, but I’ve not forgotten.

I knew going into this venture there would be some highs and lows. By venture I mean fill in the blank—writing career, parenthood, life, you get the picture. I also knew it could lead to fun stuff such as back pain, eye strain, anxiety, saggy butt, carpal tunnel, etc. But, as I stop to write this amidst a major push to finish a novel, raise kids with my husband, freelance, maintain a household, be a good citizen of the world, etc., I am struggling.

I know it is time to push through the pain, but there is a good dose of heavy heart with each page I write and every moment I get with my beautiful family this week. I am not sad by the writing or the family, but because I don’t think my grandma will be around long enough to see the full potential of either.

She has been a huge supporter of my endeavors (and sympathizer of the struggles) to be a writer. I am a writer—at least she saw me practicing my craft and shared in the happiness as I became published. But, I hoped so hard this year she would be around to see her great-grandchildren at the holidays, and be around to read her grandchild's first book.

She loves books. I just thought it would be really great to share part of this with her, and I just don’t know if we’ll have the chance. We have so many wonderful memories, times we went to the library, times we surrounded ourselves with books and catalogs. She helped pass her love of books and learning on to my mom, who gave it to me, and my kids. Our children also get some from their dad’s side, thankfully.

So, while I’m saddened we may lose a dear member of our family, I know I need to be thankful. I am thankful. I am thankful for life, family, and so many things. But, I think it is important to recognize she may not hug the babies again, or read another great story, or even my story. And I need to let myself be sad for this for just a little bit. Maybe a miracle will bring her around, I believe it could happen, but if it doesn’t I know she would want us to celebrate her and share our love with others. In fact, I read stories about people making a wish come true for Batkid and the sweet sentiment of one woman interviewed for Humans of New York yesterday and it made me think of my grandma. 

While we all have problems, struggles and pain, spreading love and joy is an important message we could all use to hear.

I’ll grab some tissues, hug and kiss my sweetie and my kids as often as they’ll let me, get back to the work of publishing articles and book(s), and play through the pain. Whatever happens, I plan to encourage my family to spend more time having fun together, playing, sharing, goofing off, reading and celebrating life. These are gifts, cherish them. 

The Reasons Toddlers Act So Crazy - Metro Parent

Check out my latest article on toddler behavior http://www.metroparent.com/Metro-Parent/September-2013/The-Reasons-Toddlers-Act-So-Crazy/. The full September issue is on stands now. 

Understanding infantile amnesia

Here's a recent article I wrote for Metro Parent. It makes a lot of sense now and I see the benefit of forgetting those early childhood memories. So, here's the link, area parents should also be able to get it on stands through the end of the month. The byline is correct in print, I think they're fixing it online, too. 

French Toast and Formula 1

In our house, racing rules. We’ve got a long-standing tradition of having French Toast and watching each F1 race. We sometimes change it up, but this year we celebrated the inaugural F1 race with my famous French Toast. Yummy, happy family!

Sweet Syrup Drizzles
by K.Gibson

Decorating for baby: Cheap and not so chic

When we set up the nursery before our daughter was born, we looked for the safest, most reliable and adorable things we could find to outfit it. I searched catalogs, stores and web sites for items that fit the baby animal-early-learning-we’re new to parenting theme. She got a well-made crib from Cali – no recalls and we’re into our second child, matching comforter, sheet set and crib bumper (not recommended these days), an organic changing table cover and more.

It wasn’t an over-the-top scene like Christina Aguilera’s son Max’s nursery – mostly sweet, except for the 11-ft.-tall ominous moon overshadowing baby Max’s crib, a prop from her super-mega music tour. I like her and the Voice (when she was on the show), and she may love mega moon man, but I think he looks kinda scary. Our kid’s digs were much calmer, simpler, and less expensive, but we did manage to make it look nice.

While staring at our plain white Home Depot shade, plain even with matching baby animal curtains and valence, I knew something had to be changed. Scouring catalogs, stores and web sites, again, I decided we needed a custom shade.

It was easy. We only had to measure the window, and re-measure it 35 times, decide on Honeycomb, Roller or Roman, pick the fabric, choose the trim and lift system. Then we had to answer the question, is it worth the money for the blackout lining? Let me be clear when I say this next part. YES! If you’re going to spend the money to buy custom shades, and you live in a place, on earth, that gets any amount of sun, pop for the lining! We did not. It was an economical decision and it seemed like the right choice at the time. But, we have struggled with it ever since.

When we installed this seemingly perfect shade, it was summer. The summer sun shone so bright it sometimes felt like we had no shade up at all. Our solution? DIY, of course. We bought a piece of blackout lining and a can of fabric spray and went to town. Brilliant. It actually worked, sort of.

It blocked the light shining directly in the window, but did almost nothing at the top and sides. When the sun was high, you could imagine it like Close Encounters, or Indiana Jones when the Ark opens (not the melting faces though, this is about a kids room), or some more modern reference to intense blazing light.

Soon, the liner rolled up and somehow fell over the shade. This meant the white liner was on the outside, and all we could see was a couple inches of our custom shade. My hubs was not too eager to climb up and fix it a dozen times a day, but he did. What a guy! I even learned how to do it, sort of.

This method of wrapping and unwrapping our shades worked until the blackout liner got so tangled up we couldn’t even pull the shades down or up. We (mostly he) fixed it, again and again. Then we settled on a fix that left us with a band of light at the bottom of the window, but it was good enough.

You might wonder how we got our children to sleep? We flung blankets and diapers at the top valence until they blocked the light. Okay, okay, I flung blankets and diapers until my husband got on a chair and neatly stuffed a big blanket behind the top valence. It’s there right now, nestled on some wire bracket or something, I think. To deal with the light shooting out the bottom, I started leaning a Boppy, or two, against the bottom of the window and stuffing blankets on top of them to wedge the shade close to the wall. And the sides? Well, I got frustrated one day and started using thumbtacks to pin the curtains to the wall. We’ll have to putty the pinholes someday, but for now, it works. This must be where all my time goes!

The sad part is, this has been going on for over five years. The light still shines through, but it’s not so bad the kids wake up, much.

Dear readers, learn from our mistake. Whether you’re preparing for a baby or upgrading a guest room – if you’re going to spend the money on a custom shade or curtains – don’t cheap out on the liner!

When I have a good picture of the shade, I'll post it. 

A Garage Door and a Dublin Mudslide

This looks harmless, but don’t be fooled. It’s three inches of plastic pain-in-the-you-know-what and the reason I practically had to crawl under our van the other day. Ok, so it was the Dublin Mudslide ice cream that made me do it, but it all started with that three-inch red nemesis.

The basic storyline is this. I’ve been doing the mommy-runs-around-town in frigid temps thing for a while. I needed a break, nap, drink, but I had to get a kid to school, another home to nap, and we were out of milk, bread, water, you get it. I summoned up the strength to get the first one to school and headed to the store. I’d made a mental list of essentials, but I knew with more snow coming, I’d better get what I could and get out. Then, there it was. The decadent flavors calling to me – Dublin Mudslide. Figures – ice cream in a snowstorm.

I get everything I can, mudslide included, and get on the way home. By the time we get there, my little one has had it, needs a nap. He’s unloaded first, since I only have a few bags. Unloading the rest, I bump my Siberian faux-fur hood on the plastic hanging from the ceiling and sit a bag back in the van so I can move the handle out of my way. You know what happens? The bag falls open and the only thing I bought for myself drops out and rolls under the van. Sigh. It may be cold, but the ice cream’s mine and I’m getting it. Somehow, it rolled almost exactly in the middle of the space under the van, so I couldn’t just reach for it. I had to get on my hands and knees as the snow is puddling in our garage to get my delectable treat.

And so I did. Then as I went to rush inside and clean myself off, I accidentally shut the sliding door on the garage handle. This is the same handle that controls the garage door. Snows coming and I can’t get it shut for anything. Plus, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do to make it work again.

I fuss and fidget. Running from one side of the van to the other in order to find out, again, and again, nothing was working. Nearly 20 minutes later, it worked. Some combination of jerking and pulling freed it so it could move the door. I was so cold when it was over I ended up having coffee instead. My Dublin Mudslide would have to wait, and it was well worth it. Just imagine – Irish cream liqueur ice cream with chocolate-chocolate chip cookies and a coffee fudge swirl. Yum, brr! Happy winter!

Not a creature was stirring...

After a day full of anticipation and excitement about tonight's gift-giving guest, our kids are nestled all snug in their beds. Sounds nice, but our long winter's nap will have to wait. Parents, you know what I mean. 

It's Christmas Eve. We're all excited about Santa's arrival and the morning festivities. So excited in fact, we've cooked, cleaned, stuffed, wrapped, set-up photography and it's not yet midnight! That doesn't always happen. So why write a blog? It's important to make note of these milestones. It's also important to share some good. 

So, if you need a boost to get across the holiday finish line try reading 5 things to enjoy this holiday, laugh at a Twelve Days of Christmas Remix, or reminisce about all the things between chaos and Christmas and be thankful for every moment.

Happy Holidays!

Stop the madness, it’s not October yet!

There’s just something about a too-early Halloween that bugs me. Normally, I’m a happenin’ holiday kind of girl, but lately it seems as though we’re rushing from one to the next, which leaves little time for enjoyment. 

I get that you need to be ahead of the curve when it comes to seasonal shifts in merchandise. But, can I please finish my poolside lounging and adjust to the back-to-school routine before you drag out ghosts and goblins?

It’s no wonder I’m hesitant to take my kid to Target. They’ve already got aisles of spooky decorations and Halloween candy. Someone in a high place maybe forgot how hard it is for parents to handle eager children begging for sweet treats and costumes — hey, it’s hard for parents too. Some of those lit-up pumpkins are adorable. But, I cringed before school even started when I saw BTS on its way out and Spook-fest on its way in. Yikes!

As a way of protesting, sort of, I’m recommending we hold off on buying candy and costumes for at least one more week. I’d say until the end of the month, but I’m not crazy. I know the selection for costumes will probably be so poor, you’ll be digging through your basement for leftover boxes to make a robot outfit, which is not an entirely bad idea. Last year we saw a kid dressed in cardboard, he was a cereal box, and a darn cute one at that. They used a lot of paint, but he really looked like a box of Fruity-O Flakes or something. (I have to be careful what cereal I reference because my sis in law is now a big exec for the Kellogg Co. I'm not a paid endorser, just a fan :)

With all my soap-box protestation, I admittedly will bring out the end of year holiday decorations as soon as possible after Thanksgiving. You can read about it here, but I think it’s perfectly allowable since it can take weeks of work to get family heirlooms in place when you have kids running around the same indoor space you’re trying to decorate. That being said, I’m saying let six weeks or so be the guide. If you can wait to sell me spookiness until a month and a half out, I’ll buy. Heck, I’ll probably buy sooner, but I’ll be less irritated by it around then.

So, here’s to squeezing out the last drops of summer as it transitions to a bountiful fall. Go outside. Take a walk, bike, hike or drive. Get thee to a festival and enjoy doing something together. Just don’t scare me with your ghoulish garb before next week or I just might bring out the lit-up deer and snowman early and see how you like it, mwahahahah.

Make plans to hit a festival or family event in your area.  Check out these sites and find out more of what’s happening in your area. 

www.festivals.com

http://www.weather.com/family-kids/fall-festivals/top10-fall-festivals-20120828

Remember, every day is special - enjoy it!

SYOAS - See you online again soon!

Aww, not yet.

How to make a power outage fun

We lost power twice this morning. The first was one of those quick flashes. It catches you off-guard, you start shaking your head (tisk, tisk) and planning for the worst when suddenly it’s back on and you think It could have been so much worse.

Then some time later a second one hit, only this time it took. The second outage lasted longer than a flash so we were left wondering What happened to the power, it’s a clear day? Did someone strike a pole, how awful, or is there a larger system problem? How long will it be out? What on earth will we do and will there be spoiled food to trash when it’s all said and done?

Fret not dear readers, for even in power outages, especially those on pleasant summer mornings, there is plenty to accomplish. Why, just look at all we were able to do when just the TV broke. 

It was actually quite nice. There was no struggle over who gets to watch what after breakfast. No argument over the iToys. No racing, no cooking, not even kid shows could distract us from the gloriously beautiful day outside and a peaceful shower for mom inside (we use a gas heater).

No worries about the game either, we planned to hit the local sports bar for a little college football if push came to shove. We were set. And it was good.

I don’t know how long the power was out because we were too busy to notice. I got the aforementioned undistracted shower and the kids and dad played wear each other out.

So you see, losing power, under the right circumstances, can be a good thing. Even in winter, another story for another time. If you just relax, you can use the time to reconnect with family, talk to each other or reboot. Kind of like hitting the shutdown button on the computer, as I am about to do. Try unplugging every once in a while, you might like it.

Photo: Sprinkle Shoes by Kristen Gibson

Findlay Area Family - Tons of Back to School Tips

My latest articles published in Findlay Area Family offer tips on everything from first day jitters to healthy lunches. Check out the great advice from teachers, dietitians, counselors and moms in Edible Energy and Study Guide. You can find more online at Findlay Area Family or in the August issue available now.

Photo: Alphabet Soup by Kristen Gibson

Traveling with Kids (and shaving with razors so cheap they’re free)

We recently took a trip with our kids. A long car trip. With two kids under five. They like to move around and do stuff. They don’t stay quietly seated for hours at a time. I don’t know anyone who has kids who can sit still so long, but if yours can I suggest you leave immediately and drive somewhere, anywhere, while you can.

As for us, we like a challenge (not really) and we like visiting family (this is true). The thing is, traveling with kids can be tough. If you’ve got a trip of any length you might find you or your children end up mildly cranky with sticky hands and flat butts. That’s if all goes well. You do not want to know what happens when things go bad. We will not be discussing the Thanksgiving trip we spent an hour+ in stop-and-go traffic on I-90. Not in this post anyway. 

Most kids are pretty good, but even the best can lose it if you’re on the road longer than expected. Take plenty of food, beverages, activity books and stuff to do. Also, make sure you stop, stretch your legs and potty when needed.

If you happen to make it to your destination on time or unscathed, thank your lucky stars.

We happened to arrive at the hotel two hours after our kids normally hit the sack. My husband and I hoped they would sleep like logs. They did not.

Since we were late and trying to avoid a total meltdown we showed our daughter the lighted pool. Then we jammed most of our house contents into the room, changed stinky diapers and prepared for bed.

Side by side by side, my husband and I hoped the kids would sleep so we could sleep. But, our little guy was a bit restless cutting a few teeth. Our girl would not stop talking or thinking about, you guessed it, the pool.

She woke me around midnight to ask if we could swim. Right now? I asked. Yes, it’s lighted, was her reply. She wouldn’t sleep until I assured her she could swim the next day. I think she got about three hours sleep. The rest of us didn’t get much more.

Thankfully, the next morning we had access to hot running water and large coffees. The place we stayed included a free breakfast, and the waffles were pretty good.

I highly recommend a suite if you’re traveling with kids. The fridge keeps food and milk cold while the stove is an invaluable bottle warmer. It also helped to clean bottles and other stuff so we weren’t stuck with a bunch of dirty gear clanking around the back of the van.

It’s also great to have connected, but separate spaces. This allows parents to put the kiddos to bed and still have a little time to chill out before the night shift begins. Sleeping in a new environment can be stressful. Sometimes kids sleep and sometimes they don’t, so wherever you stay, pack your patience.

We somehow recovered and spent the next day touring the Air Force Museum, swimming and playing. All the walking and activity, along with the previous night’s exhaustion made for sleepy kids. We got them to be at a good time and they slept. Yay!

The next day was pack and load then head to the reunion day. Visit, eat, swim, fun and drive the long road home.

We were up around 6 am and the reunion wasn’t until lunch, so it seemed like we had all the time in the world. And yet, packing up two adults and two kids worth of vacation gear took more time than we thought. At least my husband got donuts and coffee for breakfast. We ate all the donuts except one. Yum!

It got hotter and hotter as we washed, packed and loaded everything. I realized the only thing that would help keep me from fainting would be changing into shorts, which I avoided since I forgot to pack a razor. It seems we brought everything except my razor.

I kept working, but as we got close to finishing the pack-a-van Olympics the pants had to come off. My husband recommended I check the hotel shop for a razor, then shave and change.

The shop was the size of a walk-in closet. Sundries neatly arranged in small baskets lined the walls. Shampoo, packets of Excedrin, no razors. Oreos, chips, trail mix and still no razor. Scanning up and down. Wait, is that? Are those what I think? Dark blue, disposable stick razors. Cheap. Better not cost more than $5. I thought. How desperate am I? Pretty desperate, so I grabbed one and heard a voice say, “Can I help you?”

I must have looked pitiful because she saw me standing there holding up the razor and said, “Just take it.” I asked if she was sure. We both eyed the flimsy baggie and knew it wasn’t worth her time or my money, so I said thanks and left.

After I got upstairs, I volunteered to bring out a load and grab my clothes. Then I would cut down the forest on my legs, bring the last couple items and checkout.

My husband lifted 100 lbs of stuff off our suitcase in the back of the van and got my shorts. I ran to the door and swiped the key to get into the building. Nothing. I shifted the clothes in my hand and tried again and again. No luck.

By the time I made it to the hotel entrance, I was sweating. Great. Do I really feel like shaving my legs on the side of a hotel bathtub now? Nope. But, I have to get our last few items. And if that last donut is still there, I’m taking it.

Shaved in cool water and felt good, then changed. Wrapped up the donut, grabbed the diaper genie. Whoa! I caught a whiff right in the face. That smells bad. Put the donut in the last bag then shifted everything and left. Made it to the front desk and leaned over just as the diaper changer slipped out of my hands, it landed gently.

Checked out and ready to go, we sped out of the parking lot. Something you may experience is the need to escape quickly once a trip is over. We took a detour, but enjoyed some family time at the reunion. It’s amazing to see how all the little ones have grown.

I tell you though, we were ready to get home that night and sleep in our own beds, which we did, and it was wonderful. A big perk of going out of town is returning and feeling like you really are home again. Happy Vacationing!

It’s Electric

As I bang away on the keyboard, three mustached guys bang away on nails and boards downstairs. Yes, I’m pretty sure every one of them was sporting a mustache when they walked in starting at 7:52 this morning. Yay, (said hoarsely and with very little enthusiasm).
While we’re grateful to have electricity, it’s never easy to welcome a houseful if workers when you’ve got two young kids and are operating on minimal sleep.
We have work going on to install some circuits and power boxes left hanging, literally, when we gutted the basement. Everything was stripped leaving bare cement walls with power cords hanging like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Not great, but still operable.
The work has been a long time coming and with it we’ll get a new circuit for our microwave. This will help us avoid blowing the circuit every time we run it in the winter. I’m not kidding. When we run a heater on the opposite end of the house and try to nuke our coffee or frozen foods, we blow the fuse. It’s bizarre.
As long as we can endure the constant pounding, the bathroom trips (ugh!) and the general invasion of our privacy (we asked for it, and for good reason), we’ll be through it in three short days. Sigh.
The weather is clear, so we’ll temporarily relocate outside until the sun gets too hot and I need to bring the kids inside. 

Five minutes later…it’s too hot, one of the kids needs a nap, and we’re back inside. 
Shortly after…Argh! The pounding is right below my feet. If I weren’t feeling so rough, I’d probably be thankful for the Swedish foot therapy. 
Calgon, take me away! But first, get these guys finished and outta here!

Kid Amusement

Here's something for our friends who are about to give birth, and another couple who recently welcomed their second child. Sometimes it’s fun to be an amusement park ride. 

Days of our Lives…without TV

I’d like to say we decided to switch off the television in an effort to expand our minds or spend more quality time together, but we didn’t. It wasn’t even our choice. Our kid broke the thing and we were left with none. See, we only have one operational television in our house and she was having a moment. The kind that ends with a casual toss of a stuffed bear or toy bag. And the accidental destruction of a costly piece of equipment.

Sure, it’s tough to pay to replace something we already have, well, had. The upside? We spent more quality time together.

An advantage of having it broken, there was no way we could turn on the TV. Temptation removed. We occasionally, out of habit, went to watch or thought about shows we were missing. But, it diminished the more we had it off.

I got so much done the past few days. Here’s a quick list:

·      Fit in an extra workout

·      Finished two books

·      Organized our office, as much as possible

·      Paid bills

·      Played

·      Researched

·      Worked on a few writing projects

You can bet we’ll be catching up on our shows soon, but it’s nice to take a break. Why not see what you can accomplish when you turn off the TV for just one day? Happy TV-free week!

Too sweet for words...

So long, sirloin, Ta ta, tilapia (Stuff moms worry about)

I’m dreading the talk. You know, the one where you explain to your children that you not only use your purchasing power to support the slaughter of countless chicks, cows, even fish, but you also cook and serve them to their hungry mouths every day and night. Grinning about how great they taste.

Hey, I never got a talk or a choice. We ate what we had. Maybe it was because of the economy, or because we lived near the family farm and granddad probably would have scowled or laughed at all this vegan talk. I don’t know. So why am I making such a big deal about it? Because, I can see the gears turning. Connections are going to be made between favorite animal characters and what we eat.

A few weeks ago while watching a cooking show, my kid noticed the hosts say they would be making lamb. I’ve been thinking about this, but it became clear I’m not the only one when my kid looked questioningly at me and said, “That’s silly, they aren’t going to make lamb?” My articulate response was, “They’re cooking stuff you can eat,” and I quickly changed it to a kid-friendly channel.

What the heck am I supposed to do? Every meal we get asked that complicated question, “What’s for dinner?” Only this time, or sometime soon, our oldest is really going to want to know, “What, or rather, what animal are you feeding me?” I can’t take it!

What do I say to a child who doesn’t grasp the concept of lean proteins and brain building fats? “Um, well, tonight we’ve got Elsie-the-cow-burger, rack-of-Mary’s Little Lamb or Nemo-the-fish-stick. Your choice, sweetie,” I could say, smiling politely.

So, I’ve decided we’re going vegetarian. At least, I’m looking into it. Milking a cow for butter, I can explain. Butchering one’s a different story. Don’t even get me started on eggs.

Which leads me to the question, “What do vegetarians live on?” I’ve heard bread, vegetables and beans. But have you seen, or smelled what a person on a bean diet does? I gave up red meat, and most chicken once in high school. It wasn’t pretty.

Now, I know there are lots of meatless options out there, but where do I start? Can you grow a healthy kid on sprouts and tofu? Are they happy?

What should I do about my husband? I think telling him we’re cutting out the turkey cold turkey could start WWIII in our house. Should he keep eating any animal he wants? That just wouldn’t be fair. Mostly to me.

On second thought, as parents we’re already on the hook for countless creatures we’ve already consumed. Plus, how the heck are we supposed to bake cookies and cakes without eggs? Kids would definitely not want to give those up. Maybe we can bribe them with baked goods and convince them our way of life is acceptable, although I’m starting to wonder.

Does it even count that we usually buy humanely raised meats? It almost sounds oxymoronic raising them humanely only to have them end up baked, broiled and fried.

Maybe things would be better if we just stop calling our food by name. Can we be a little less obvious? You don’t normally say, “Wow, honey, that was some tasty cow,” right? So why not rename the other animals we eat? Let’s call it re-branding. I’m sure the marketers would get on board for this.

We could go with something like cheech for chicken, “Who wants some fried cheech?” We could change fish to fizz. Everyone loves a good fizz. How about turkey? What should we call that? Maybe, Tofurkey? Nah, that’s already taken. You get the idea, though. If we re-brand the meats, maybe it wouldn’t be such a big deal.

Seriously though, my family really enjoys cooking and eating good food, meat included. But, if I’m starting to wonder about some of our choices, shouldn’t I expect my kids to question them too? I can make small changes, but everyone should be included if it’s going to involve a lifestyle change. We’ll just have to wait until we’re ready for the discussion and see where it takes us.

Vegetables are our friends