Parental Leave for the Teen Years

Here's a Yahoo article about taking parental leave when your kids are teenagers. This piece highlights a study showing the positive impact engaged time both parents had with their kids during adolescence, but I think there's something to be said for engaged time with kids of all ages. Engaged time is what it sounds like, time when parents are directly engaged with their children. 

Far too often, I find myself pulled in various directions. There is a benefit to accessible time where you are present, but doing something else. However, I'm letting this serve as a reminder to set aside work, household chores, even phones/tech toys (put them in another room!) to get on my child's level and play more often than ever. If we reinforce these connections while they're young, it might make it easier to navigate the tween/teen years ahead. I hope. 

I'm filing this one away, so I can reference it again when needed. You may find it interesting too. 

https://www.yahoo.com/parenting/the-case-for-taking-parental-leave-when-your-kids-115682208970.html?soc_src=mags&soc_trk=copy

Starbucks (Blank Space) for Moms

Some talented folks at Scary Mommy made this totally relatable video using Taylor Swift's Blank Space. 

http://www.scarymommy.com/taylor-swifts-blank-space/

Ideas to Simplify the Holiday Season

How to Have a Just-Simple-Enough Holiday

Work-life balance: The Impossible Dream?

Work-life balance. What do you think when you hear it, or read it?

Whenever I hear someone talk about work-life balance, I nod politely agreeing yes, it’s hard to come by—like finding a unicorn, under a double rainbow, with a pot of gold waiting beside it.

As Nigel Marsh says in this Ted Talk, it doesn’t have to be impossible if we take some personal control instead of letting others/employers do it for us. Discussions of things like flex time, casual Fridays and paternity leave, “only serve to mask the core issue, which is certain job and career choices are fundamentally incompatible with being meaningfully engaged on a day-to-day basis with a young family,” he says.

Wow, so we choose to work in order to pay rent or a mortgage, to put food on our table, and to hopefully, help put our kids through school. And buy cars, clothes and electronic gadgets. Yet, this work actually takes enjoyment away from some of those very things. Doesn’t it feel like we should be able to have it all—without the stress?

Marsh thinks we need to recalibrate our lives in order to strike a work-life balance that works. “We have to be responsible for setting and enforcing the boundaries that we want in our life,” Marsh says.

If you watch the video, you’ll see he makes a great point about realizing what to balance (intellectual, emotional and spiritual), and what we can actually accomplish over a certain time period—say, a day.

What’s your ideal day? If you’re not sure, make a list of your ideal day, as Marsh recommends and see what matters most. Did you put work at the top of your list? Then why spend so much time doing it? It’s time to get real about what you want and when you can accomplish your goals.

“We need to be realistic, you can’t do it all in one day,” Marsh says. It’s such a simple statement, yet so very wise. I often find myself, and others, anxious to cross off every single last thing on their To-Do list in one day. Maybe I need a To-Do List Manager. 

Marsh suggests creating a more realistic time period for reaching our ideal work-life balance. “We need to elongate the time period for which we judge the balance in our life,” he says. “But we need to elongate it without falling into the trap of I’ll have a life when I retire.” By then there may not be kids, a spouse or interests left to enjoy.

Okay, I get it. So, where do I go from here? I suggest thinking about your ideal day, or maybe a couple different ideal days. Why more than one day? Because, maybe you’re a parent craving some time to do your own thing occasionally, not every day. Plus, if you have expensive taste, but not a ton of cash, driving a Ferrari to lunch at the yacht club every day may not be realistic right now. Make a list of what you can do now, and a list of what you’d like to do, over time.

You’ve got a list, or two. What next? Do what you can, when you can. If work stresses you out, and miss family time, schedule a day, or an hour and take your kid to a museum, or the park. Marsh says even the small things matter.

What is your ideal day? Mine would involve a lot of family time, playing outdoors, reading, writing, music and food. Maybe even a ride in a Ferrari, someday.

Cloaked by K. Gibson

Seuss Saturday

We have kids; therefore, we know something about Dr. Seuss. Confession, I'd probably read the occasional Seuss book even if we didn't have kids, but since we do, it gives me a reason to enjoy Green Eggs and Ham more often.

This year is the 110th anniversary of Dr. Seuss'/Theodor Geisel's birthday. In honor of Dr. Seuss, I thought it would be fun to share a list of books we’ve enjoyed from the Seuss collection. Some you may know, others might be new. Pick a few and share with your kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, or read them yourself, it's okay, really. 

Sampling of Seuss Books:

The Cat in the Hat

Green Eggs and Ham

Hop on Pop

Horton Hears a Who!

The Lorax

Yertle the Turtle

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

Fox in Socks

The Foot Book

The Eye Book

Dr. Seuss ABC

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

The Sneetches

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Here's a brief blurb from Publisher's Weekly about the debut of an online Birthday Club you may want to check out too. The rest is here.

March 2 marked the 110th anniversary of Theodor Geisel’s birth, and Random House Children’s Books, in partnership with Dr. Seuss Enterprises, is commemorating this milestone and the enduring legacy of the Pulitzer Prize-winning author with the debut of Dr. Seuss’s Birthday Club. The online venture offers a platform for families to become better acquainted with the colorful characters that populate Dr. Seuss’s books (worldwide sales of which total 600 million copies), and provides members with tools and ideas for hosting a “Seuss-ational” birthday fete. (PW)

Here’s a link to the Dr. Seuss Birthday Club.

Here’s a link to Seussville, a site with games, activities, books and more!

Happy reading!

I’m ready for the weekend…and it’s only Monday

If you feel the same, read these ideas and take a break. I'm going to work my way through the list this week, and probably next week too. 

1.  Read a book. Whether it’s a history, mystery, or romance, a good book can transport you. Try Wild by Cheryl Strayed. Like thrillers? Check out The Ark by Boyd Morrison.

2.  Don’t like long books? Read a short story. Check out One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak (of The Office fame).

3.  Read something fun with a little one. Switch things up with Mother Goose on the Loose by Hans Wilhelm.

4.  Listen to music. Slow jazz, classical or whatever helps you unwind.

5.  Catch up on TV. With so many ways to stream, there’s no reason to miss your favorite show, or find a new one.

6.  Take care of yourself with an at home spa. Place cool cucumber slices over your eyes for a few minutes to rejuvenate your peepers.

7.  Got time for a getaway? Check out these ten quick beach getaways from NBC.

Reading to your child: Encouragement and tips

Whenever I come across ideas to encourage reading I just have to share. It's important to make reading a habit for the entire family. We've done it since before our kids were born - yes, I was the mom who read books and poetry to my bambinos before birth - and we've been doing it ever since. Reading is awesome for everyone. So, whether you're an aunt, uncle, cousin or friend, encourage every kid you know to read, read, read! 

Because most of us are balancing more work than ever, here is a brief article from Scholastic (a great resource for parents). Check it out here. 

I've posted another one with 6 cool ways to read every day on other social media sites, but since you're reading my blog (Thanks!) you can check it out here. 

Sweet Week - Wednesday Wisdom

We've been in a seemingly endless cycle of sleep, wake, wash, school, work, with some variations on feeding, cleaning, and shoveling (mostly snow). I've got major deadlines; a family on the brink of colds, but powering through since our girl is student of the week; and piles of snow and laundry taking over our house inside and out. Who has time to shower, plan meals, or participate in school parties? I actually contemplated not going to the school Valentine Party. (Oh, no!) This is shocking because it's a big deal to my kid, and Heart Day crafts are pretty cool. 

I'd just about given up on the whole party parent thing, and was planning either a drive-by or a full-on escape, which would have required a careful explanation to our daughter since she's probably expecting me there. Instead, another mom e-mailed the group to say her son got sick and she needed someone to take over the craft she planned for the party. 

Within minutes of receiving her message I had these thoughts. How awful, her son is sick. Great, he puked in my kid's class. I hope he's okay. I hope he didn't spray any of the other kids. Gee, I feel bad for her, she sounds really stressed. I'm stressed too, but my kid didn't hork up lunch, sure I'll help. 

The way this played out reminds me of a post circulating the web a year or so ago with the caption, "If a toddler hands you a ringing toy phone…you answer that s*!t." Someecards has one, if you want to see it/share it. I should never have thought I could 'skip' or 'skate' through a kid party, especially not one my kid is psyched about. And when a mom with a sick kid needs help. What do you do? Step up, of course and answer that phone, e-mail, or whatever!

So, I'm now signed up for a crafty craft. Although, it's below freezing (still) and I've got to find craft supplies. Then proceed to unwrap, draw, cut and organize these things in about a day to make it to the party on time. At least I'm doing my part to help. If it works out the kids will enjoy Valentine's Day and mine will think I'm pretty awesome. 

The countdown is on, cheers! 

More snow?

When life hands you a polar vortex…make a luau

After more below freezing days indoors than most of us care to count, it was time to shake things up a bit. So, a luau theme seemed in order. 

Here are some photos of "luau lunch" - sunshine sandwiches and even chocolate and coconut bars. 

Stay warm out there!

We do more before 9am than…

If you recognize this slogan, then the ad folks did their job. Actually, you might recognize it more as: In the Army, we do more before 9am than most people do all day, or Be All That You Can Be. It’s kind of motivational if you ask me. I want to get up and kick some butt before 9am, most days. (Here’s a YouTube video of it if you’re interested.) 

As a way of implementing some New Year’s self-home-work-flow improvement, I decided to get up earlier than usual on the weekdays. It was not a big stretch considering our kids don’t let us sleep much past dawn anyway. Perfectly doable, or so I thought.

See, just about anything can look good in theory or on paper. When it comes time to actually do it, is when you’ve got push through. It wouldn’t be so bad except we shoveled snow five times in the past three days, last night I somehow got sucked into a montage of funnies on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon (here’s a preview) and set aside my book edits and stayed up past my bedtime—the one designed to help me have the energy to get up earlier and Be All That I Could Be.

Since then we got even more snow and school is closed. While my amazing husband did not wake me for the morning shovel, I did get up at my “early” time. We enjoyed breakfast before he headed off to see if he could get through the snow to work in under an hour. 

After a brief feeling of accomplishment at getting up early, I have cleaned up milk messes, dyed six fingers and my new favorite sweatshirt several shades of purple, placed three of the world’s tiniest balloons filled with water and food coloring (how I dyed my hands) on wax paper and set them on our front porch in hopes they freeze before a delivery guy squashes them. Water balloons and dye may seem like a bad idea in winter, but it looked cool on Pinterest. The water inside the balloons is supposed to freeze and make some kind of pretty colored ice balls, although as small as ours are they will be ice marbles.

I had good intentions, but sometimes things just go their own way. I’m perfectly content to keep writing/editing with purple fingers, complete more fun experiments with the kids, and Be All I Can Be. We’ll just have to see what else the day holds.

What are you doing to 'Be All You Can Be' today?

‘Twas the Day After Christmas

‘Twas the day after Christmas, when all through the house

Paper, toys and boxes were strewn all about;

The stockings, once hung, lay in a pile on the floor,

Remnants of Saint Nicholas and gift-giving galore;

The children bounced ‘round, and launched cars to and fro;

While they dreamed of chocolate cake and sledding in snow;

And mamma in her slippers, and I with my energy zapped;

Just wish we could settle down for a long winter’s nap,

When out in the family room there arose such a clatter,

We grumbled up from our chairs to see what was the matter,

Away to the ruckus we struggled to go,

Walked through the hallway, and the mess down below,

When what to our tired old eyes did appear,

But a miniature Porsche launched high in the air,

Missing a driver it flew lively and quick,

We knew in a moment it must be the kids,

More rapid than jets, the objects they flew,

We swerved and we ducked then shouted out to the crew:

“Be careful! Aim that way! Watch out for the tree!

Move your arm! Stop launching before something hits me!

Watch out for the window! Watch out for the wall!

Stop crashing and bashing cars both big and small!

As rejected old pumpkins from past holidays fly,

When they meet with a trebuchet, mount to the sky;

So up to the ceiling, the autos they flew,

Vehicles, spinning wheels, and parts flying too,

And then in an instant, we saw on the spot the giggling and high-fiving of each little tot.

Our scowls melted to smiles,

And we beamed bright with glee,

A right joyous moment, it all seemed to be.

Until the kids scattered and grabbed more toys from the stack,

Their hands were again busy drawing this and building that.

They sprang up the stairs,

with cars, dolls and Legos too,

playing freely, without care,

like all kids should do.

But we heard them exclaim,

As they ran out of sight,

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!”

Working on some fun Snowman Popcorn Cups

Popcorn goes in tomorrow!

Chocolate-Caramel Covered Pretzels and Other Festive Foodie Gifts

This is melted chocolate in a cup…

And this is more…

I have my good friend Debbie to thank for the idea. She gave us these delicious homemade dipped pretzels a couple years ago, and I dreamed of making them ever since. 

This was our year. I really wanted to make something homemade for my child's teacher, and realized it might be fun to give a gift from our kitchen since we love food and cooking—when we have time and it's not an ordeal to get the right ingredients. I even love the occasional culinary challenge, but these days simpler is better. 

I bought gift tins at the craft store a few weeks ago. Then I searched for recipes and eventually narrowed it down to three to five possibles—and changed even those a couple days before the big cook-off. 

I drove out in the snow to a local baking supply store, thanks again to my friend for the idea to go there. It was so much fun to see all the packages of milk, dark and white chocolate, and the sprinkles, sanding sugar and caramel. YUM!

I bought the ingredients and my family all participated in creating these festive goodies. Within 24 hours we made these chewy and delicious Chocolate-Caramel Covered Pretzels, Super Sugar Cookies and Strawberry Oatmeal Bars. 

The stars must have been aligned, or maybe I should consider it a Christmas Miracle because this just doesn't happen any more. We don't usually have enough time, energy, resources and participation to make something like this happen. So, this year's holiday bake-off and  gift giving goes down in the books as a special event. If we're lucky, we'll repeat it again sometime in the future, or even next year. But, for now I'll sit back and enjoy one of the sugar cookies we didn't give away because it wasn't quite round enough, or some other reason, say thanks for our foodie success, and try not to think of how much more we need to finish before Santa Claus comes to town. 

Enjoy the Holiday Season!

Christmas/Holiday Cards—A note on etiquette and why they are worth the hassle

Let me start by saying how thankful I am this year to have a loving family.

I am also thankful for a recent article by an etiquette master stating it IS okay to wish folks a Merry Christmas again. For a few years I’d stop myself mid-Merry even when wishing people I knew to be Christmas celebrants, because I did not want to insult anyone, and also because my brain was still catching up with the times.

Let’s be clear, it is probably not a good idea to wish your bubbe Merry Christmas. But, it does seem okay to wish folks Merry Christmas. Just try to be considerate when in the company of those you don’t know, makes sense.

You might wonder what all this has to do with cards. It means I can finally stop worrying so much when we send cards this year. We want to be respectful, but it’s also important to share an honest sentiment. So, send whatever holiday you celebrate cards to all your friends and family, and try to include a nice note. If you have a business contact or other person you aren’t sure about, send a more general holiday greeting.

Now, for the rest of the story. We almost did not get our annual holiday card photo this year. We take a photo because our kids are cute, and I force my husband and myself to participate so it feels like we’ve got at least one picture each year where we’re all together.

Moms, you know what I mean. There is a whole period of time where all the photos are of the child. Sleeping, smiling, crawling, crying, etc. There are probably thousands of our growing kids, but very few or none showing us. Okay, so I got a few with daddy doing sweet or silly stuff, but I was usually the one taking the photo—hiding my freakish hairdos and baggy eyes (at least a few months/years after baby’s arrival).

If nothing else, a once a year photo op like this forces me to get a haircut, shave my legs (although I sometimes wonder why) and buy/rediscover a nice shirt/outfit. Don’t ask me about shoes, it’s another story for another time (weeps a little).

So, this year we dragged a kid on the verge of a cold and another with a super case of the cranks, even though we discussed cancelling last minute, to the busiest place on earth this time of year and slapped our smiles on for the photog. A fun two hours later we packed the van with our exhausted, hungry family and headed home. Success! And Failure.

Would it have been wise to reschedule? Yes and no. Yes, but we were dressed and the car was warm. Rescheduling meant we probably would have missed our annual trek to the quickie pic place and an opportunity to see our children smile together, in the same picture, at the same time, with both eyes open and looking at the camera. Seriously, I don’t know how they do it, but they usually get some good shots no matter how hard we make it on them, and ourselves.

I say, pack the drinks, munchies, extra patience and a hairbrush and head to the studio. Or do it yourself, we did one year and it was hard and hilarious all at the same time. Your kids are probably growing faster than you realize. Just try to make the most with what you’ve got and smile. Say cheese! 

Note: This is not our actual holiday photo. It was taken on a good day in Frankenmuth though, and probably would have made a fun card.  

Please don’t text while driving!

I don’t often get on my virtual soapbox, but when I do, it’s for good cause. This time is no different.

Many of you know the dangers of texting while driving. You’ve probably heard statistics like these, seen it portrayed on TV shows like this, or encountered it first-hand. So, let me ask you all to sit down with your kids and have a talk.

Maybe you had the birds and bees discussion, or the don’t do drugs talk, that’s great! But, it’s high time as parents, citizens, and adults, we have a talk with each other and our kids about the dangers of using phones while driving.

First, be an example. If they see you doing it, they are more likely to think it’s okay and either do it themselves, or not speak up if a friend is texting while driving. So, put the phone down, please!

Second, tell them you love them and that no appointment, test, date, party—NOTHING—is so important they can’t wait to text, or take time to pull over before sending a message.

The reason for my anxiety, and this PSA? Yesterday, I was driving with my two-year-old through your average suburban neighborhood. While on a quiet street, I noticed a car in a driveway and it appeared to be rolling backwards. Yes, rolling, not driving backwards. 

A teenage boy with his eyes glued to his Smartphone jumped into the passenger side, and I figured the first roll was due to an anxious friend trying to get his buddy’s attention. Note: I’m still driving toward this particular driveway. 

The next instance, I notice the car rolling backwards again, and I’m wary. So, I slow to a crawl and then stop as the car rolls all the way down the driveway and into the street while the driver is looking down at his phone the entire time. He never once looked up to see if it’s safe to back into the street, and he never noticed the huge baby-hauler approaching his driveway. 

If I had not stopped, we would have crashed. He could have rammed the side my kid was on, which makes me want to say STOP and THINK!

He was shocked to see me after he rolled completely out of the driveway and ended up facing our van. The look on his face told me he already knew his error. He knew he was wrong—yelling or throwing up would have only given him an excuse to focus on someone else’s poor judgment instead of his own. (I need to remember this when dealing with my own kids.)

I know we didn’t crash, but it’s because I was hyper-aware. This is only one example of a bigger modern day driving problem. If you need to locate something on your phone, view directions, a map, text, or even call someone, please pull over. Train your children to do and expect the same. Please!

Tips for Getting Your Kid to Like Vegetables - Metro Parent

I got to interview Lisa McDowell, MS, RD, CSSD, manager of clinical nutrition at St. Joseph Mercy Hospital in Ann Arbor for this article. She is also a mom of two and the team sports nutritionist for the Detroit Red Wings so she knows how to encourage kids and adults to eat their veggies. It's worth a read. 

Check out the article link. The issue on stands also includes a list of top veggies you should try. Happy Munching!

Summer Reads — A Family Finale

It’s back-to-school time, and also time for the final post for this Summer Reads season. Check out these fun children’s books, and a little something for parents, too. Enjoy the school year!

Jamberryby Bruce Degen. Take a cute romp through the berry patches, before winter, with a little boy and a rhyming bear.

TheGoing to Bed Book by Sandra Boynton. A sweet read to share with your little one.

Pete the Cat: The Wheels onthe Bus by James Dean. Read, sing, and laugh.

Schooled by Gordon Korman. Looks fun, if I ever get time. Excerpt from Amazon: Capricorn Cap Anderson has been homeschooled by his hippie grandmother, Rain. When Rain is injured in a fall, Cap is forced to attend the local middle school. Although he knows a lot about Zen Buddhism, nothing has prepared him for the politics of public school.

After only a couple days of school, I can see we are probably going to want a few books like these soon.

Mom’s Ultimate FamilyOrganizer by Amy Keroes. Calendar, directory and planning pages. I need something like this right now!

Weelicious: 140 Fast, Fresh,and Easy Recipes by Catherine McCord.

The 7 Habits of HighlyEffective Families by Stephen Covey.

Back-to-school tips and links

Whether your kids have been in school for a week or are about to go back, here are some helpful tips for heading back to school.

Photo Ops

No matter how busy it gets, have your camera handy the first week of school for capturing a few memorable moments. Here are some tips:

1. Charge the camera or phone the night before.
2. Take a snapshot the first morning before they leave. With a sign or backpack, or without. Try to get a photo in the same place year after year to measure their growth.
3. First afternoon at pick-up or when your child arrives home, if you didn’t manage to get an early morning pic.
4. In the classroom during an open house. Remember to ask the school first, be as unobtrusive as possible, and don’t take photos of the other kids without their parent’s permission.
5. Take a photo during the first week while your kid is working on homework or reading a book.
6. Outside, anytime. Late summer and early fall provides a colorful backdrop for outdoor photos, and your little ones get to unleash some energy while you try to get a great action shot. 

Here’s a link to a fun DIY photo frame kit.

http://www.metroparent.com/Blogs/Make-It/August-2013/First-and-Last-Day-of-School-DIY-Photo-Frame-Project/

Check out this Back-to-school Survival Guide for tips on how to get in good with the teacher and how to start the morning off right.

http://www.annarborfamily.com/b2sguide.pdf

Design a Kid Friendly Workspace for Homework Assignments.

http://www.scholastic.com/parents/resources/article/getting-organized/design-kid-friendly-workspace

Find back to school food ideas on Pinterest.

http://pinterest.com/search/pins/?q=back%20to%20school%20food

Big Book of Schools 2013

The Metro Parent Big Book of Schools is out and online. Click the link for listings of area private, public and charter schools. There is also information on top teachers, guides for college and tips for choosing a school and getting kids the right amount of sleep. Just in time for school.